Vagif Abilov – “The Tester Finds It All” – Agile Testing Days 2014 Anthem

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Vagif Abilov (@ooobject) was rated as the best speaker by the attendees at the ATD 2013. In 2014 he was back again with an amazing stage performance.

I don’t want a bug
To be defined as feature
Though it’s hurting me
We won’t release this week

I’ve had all bad luck
It will surely teach me
Nothing more to say
No more sprints to save

The tester finds it all
The error is to fall
I tried to do my best
Just one failing test

I was flying high
The algorithm was clever
Fastest you have seen
Written whole in “C”

Written whole at night
I won’t do this ever
I was such a fool
Should have learned the rules

The prospects were so clean
It worked on my machine
How could I even think
They‘d test with empty string!

The tester finds it all
The bug won’t cross the wall
It’s simple and it’s plain
Why should I complain?

But tell me how it feels
When you find my error?
Does it feel the same
When it’s him to blame?

I don’t really think
I’m a nasty fellow
But what can I say?
The rules must be obeyed

Stakeholders will decide
Developers abide
The product will release
The user’s not at risk

QA is on again
Co-worker or a friend
Big failure or a small
The tester finds it all

I don’t want a bug
To be defined as feature
And I understand
Things are not as planned

I apologize
For those little creatures
Also known as bugs
But let us face the fact

The tester finds it all…
The tester finds it all…

Tester finds it
Bugs won’t hurt us
Team will fix them
Product will ship

It was pleasure
Having you here
Hope to see you
In the next year

(TEXT by Vagif Abilov, Music by ABBA “The Winner Takes it All”)

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